This episode delves into the transformative power of self-love, acceptance, and respect.

As a Holistic Transformation Coach and Yoga Instructor, I share my reflections on the challenges and rewards of life after 30, especially when it comes to making new connections in a fast-paced world.

I explore the shared experiences of finding it more challenging to meet new people after our 30s, particularly for those who have traveled extensively and often find themselves starting from zero.

I discuss how traveling can push you out of your comfort zone, forcing you to grow and discover yourself. I also touch on the impact of technology on our social skills and the importance of detoxing from social media to connect more genuinely with those around us.

From the struggles of making new friends in big cities to the joys and pains of frequent travel, this episode offers a heartfelt look at embracing life’s impermanence and the necessity of forming meaningful connections.

Let’s begin

I thought it was just me! Over the past few months, I’ve been reflecting on how challenging life can become after your 30s. I want to share my perceptions and experiences with you.

At first, I thought it was just me, but as I spoke to friends and people I met along the way, I realized this was a shared experience. Many of us find it harder to meet new people after our 30s, especially when moving to a new city.

For those like me, who have traveled for years and often find ourselves starting from zero, don’t get me wrong, I love to travel.

Traveling is a beautiful experience.

It takes you out of your comfort zone and shows you what truly matters. It forces you to grow and see yourself more profoundly, allowing you to discover who you are and love becoming a better version of yourself. Traveling helps you evolve on all levels, revealing that the world beyond your circle is vast and full of opportunities.

It reminds you that you are essential, that your existence is vital for the world. You get to choose what you want to do, and you can do it. There is so much good in getting out of our comfort zones. Even without traveling, we can embrace these lessons.

The not-so-bright side of traveling is recognizing that everything has ups and downs. Both perspectives are necessary.

When traveling and moving frequently, we start from zero, carrying memories in our hearts, rebuilding connections, and saying hellos and goodbyes. After my 30s, I found it increasingly challenging to make new connections amidst these contradictions.

I sometimes observe how kids interact; they are not afraid of talking with each other, and they start conversations by commenting on each other’s toys and how fun it will be if they play together. They share their ideas freely and reply to each other happily. They are constantly being themselves.

Social Skills and Technology

While I observed these genuine interactions, I wondered why we adults do not do this anymore. Of course, this will be based on my reality and how I see it: the older we get, the closer and further away we become from other human beings, especially those outside our circles.

Is this about social skills? Do I need to improve mine?

Sometimes, I can only have a great conversation if others initiate it. How comfortable is that, right?

It is a lot easier to talk to everyone while traveling. We are all in the same boat and can help each other, which can happen in similar scenarios. A good idea there is to find groups with similar interests.

Back in a Big City – Homebase.

Now that I’m back in a big city, everyone is running so fast that we do not have the time to ask one another how the day is going. I now consider myself officially a shy person, which is funny because I was the loudest and friendliest when I was younger. What changed? And when?

I have been traveling for as long as I can remember, and every time I return to any of my root countries, I see my family. I started from zero with everything; I have changed my life and moved across oceans.

How can I expect to find a community I have yet to work for or friends when everyone has moved on with their lives, traveled, and so on? This is okay, and I have made peace with it. Also, most of my family, if not all, are outside Colombia. My closest family is in Ecuador, and my friends are worldwide.

Friends are like family, and I count them with my hands. It is my reality, and I am learning to accept it and do all I can to change the things that don’t make me happy. I also know this is the reality of hundreds of humans.

Every time I finish a journey in another country, study, or job, I come back to face a warm and cold reality: the warmth and love of my family and the cold reality of starting from zero. I need to find a home, make new friends, work, and find places where I can do the things that make me happy, like working out, dancing, reading, writing, and, of course, having fun and deep conversations with other humans.

The Busy Lives Nowadays

The reality is that as the years pass, this is the most challenging time after a journey abroad. This time, being in a vast city where everything seemed to go so fast, I found it quite challenging to make new friends.

The speed of life and the urgency of constantly getting busy—or saying we are busy—are deteriorating us because we are continually exhausted. I am observing all this from different angles. I have had unique experiences that have made me a better person and given me many lessons and skills for navigating life.

Traveling has made me the woman I am today, and I am proud of it. Of course, life will keep sending me challenges, and growth is inevitable until we leave this place.

I am embracing the reality that I miss people I have met on the roads and have had to say goodbye to many times. They motivate me, and I feel sad because they aren’t there. I miss the inspiring conversations with friends I met in countries I once called “my homes.” But life is about impermanence, and I have, and I am learning to embrace all the meanings of this word.

When I returned to my home country, I felt like I had lost all my social abilities! I laugh at myself because I can say hi, but conversations end quickly. It takes two to tango, but we can all talk a bit more. Can we? Do we want to? Instead of focusing solely on this, I must move forward and make new connections.

Taking a few minutes to slow down and connect with others can do us much good. I found myself questioning my social abilities, and there are realities to embrace.

It’s okay to try and find out that others do not want to talk to us; this is about letting go of the fear of rejection.

We sometimes share this fear when we wish to make new connections. This will be a way of getting out of our comfort zone and trying it out. We value our worth and understand that other humans think the same way we do and want to find one another. Trusting one another—this needs to be built. It is there, but we can’t make it if we do not start a conversation!

Technology

On another note, technology is beautiful if we know how to use it, but it can also make us feel lonelier and isolate ourselves. We have heard so many times about the addiction to social media, and yet it seems so hard to be with those who are there with us and closer to those who are miles away.

Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?

I have decided to detox myself from social media, and the relief I felt after months and more was tremendous; detoxing does make you more aware of yourself. I am talking about scrolling and allowing time to fly just watching things… This could be better for us. This has been helping me a lot to connect with every human being fully present, no matter what.

The conversation can last minutes, but I will be there with my five senses. I have committed to myself; this is about learning to use social media and not becoming a victim.

I also need to make the conscious decision of being available with my mind to others because if I can’t communicate with new people, this is what I will project too.

We know what we can do to change our reality. This is about getting away from the digital world, living offline, and connecting more with people heart-to-heart.

Aren’t we all wanting to have honest conversations?

Having a tribe is vital for our well-being. We need feedback on our thoughts and actions to grow and better understand ourselves. We need camaraderie, like-minded people to laugh with, and those who think differently to broaden our perspectives.

Tribes are crucial, and I will say that starting from “zero,” connecting with other humans is as important as what we already have.

Potential Solutions

Someone once told me that her goals in life right now and after her 30s are not so much about the typical “success” society tells us to have. She told me she decided to create her success and her dreams for fulfillment, and some of these goals were embracing her inner child and growing in the areas that she and her loved ones thought she needed to work on to become a better person.

This made me think about the challenges of making friends after my 30s. She said that is indeed a challenge to her, so part of the dream of embracing her inner child is to allow vulnerability to be, exist, and co-exist with others.

To connect freely and without fear, jump into new connections to see what happens. Leave any prior judgments upon others, and let life surprise you. We need to embrace the impermanence of things truly. Accepting that nothing stays forever, nurturing our relationships, and making new connections are required.

We need these heart-to-heart conversations; they make us feel alive and remind us that we need each other’s energy.

This life is transitory, so we better make the best of it. I’ve been joining classes, boxing, doing functional exercises, having dinner with strangers, and going to places where people send notes on napkins.

These environments encourage connection, and we feel comfortable. I am coming to accept that if I do not put myself out there and do everything in front of my computer, I will miss the opportunity to connect with others. We can start with some baby steps, such as turning off our phones when talking to one another.

Let’s stop scrolling through content and create a real one by forming genuine connections.

Let’s be bold and make new connections, even if others don’t reciprocate.

Let’s embrace our uniqueness and fall in love with our silliness.

Let’s be spontaneous and fully present in our interactions, engaging all our senses.

I hope you found inspiration and resonance, and I invite you to return for more. Stay tuned for our next episode, in which we’ll explore the depths of personal growth and share more stories of resilience and transformation.

Until then, embrace the journey ahead and be kind to yourself.